WAYS TO BE USELESS 101

Now how ironic is it that I legit had to use technology to come up with an idea to write about? So this post is going to be about technology. (Like that wasn’t evident enough.) I saw a video a while back which got me thinking about how really dependant I was on technology to get my shiz done. Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate technology. (Heck, I more than appreciate it. I’d share a pizza with it) But, there are certain times I wished I still remembered how it was like to be independent and useful. (Unlike right now.) So, here are a list of things I wished I still knew.

Leggo.

1) Spellings.
There was this time that Android didn’t have spell check(or if you’re fancy, autocorrect) and you’d have to enable it for it to start working on your phone. I still was bad at spelling but I knew something was up if there was a red line. So while I was still using that version of Android I knew half my Goddamn spellings. But ever since I began using the gift of the gods, otherwise known as autocorrect (I’m fancy too, okay? Spell check is sooo 2010) I can’t spell for nuts. I legit can’t spell ‘disappointed’. Now that seems right but what I spell on a daily basis is ‘dissappointed’. Now, that’s a problem (My English teacher would be dissappointed). Also, you’d think I’d know how to spell ‘scissors’ or ‘tomorrow’ but, NO. For the longest time, I’d been spelling them as ‘scissorrs’ and ‘tommorow’. (And I’m not even kidding- I don’t even know how I came up with the spelling for scissors.) So whenever I need to use tomorrow, I’m still a little unsure about the spelling so I just use ‘morrow’. (I KNOW. GEEEEENIUS-Oh, speaking of, honest to god, I spelt genius as genuis. For real. Not even kidding. That happened. Just right now.)

2) Things, in general.
If you were to ask me what you should have for breakfast today, I’d literally Google ‘Things to have for breakfast if you’re lazy. Ps- It’s a Wednesday morning’. And don’t even try to lie to yourself, I know you do that too. I know you, boo. I got you. If you called me up to ask for a problem which I would have known and arrived at the answer if I sat down for three minutes and tried to work it out, I’d already be typing the entire friggin’ problem out in the search bar to find the answer and then take credit for it. Also, if you asked me what day today was, I’d switch my phone on and check my top bar. If you wanted to know the time and the only reason you asked me was because I was wearing a watch, I’d never look into the watch. Guess where I’d look into? Yep. My phone.

3) Directions.
Now, if you know me personally, you know I suck at directions. I can’t even tell you how to get to my house if you’re two streets away from it. I’m that bad. I can’t remember street names, places or buildings but what I can remember are the names of all the people that worked with Obama. I’m that good and I’m not even ashamed of it. (A tad bit maybe but I could easily not care too.) But if you were to give me internet access, hon, I’d take you places you’ve never been to before (And then we’d get lost coming back but that’s not what I’m getting at.) My GPS game is so lit that I never have to remember places. I mean, why would you? If you screw up, you can always blame the GPS or the satellites or the prime minister or the water department. But, if you took matter to your own hands and directed people using the knowledge in thy head and ended up in the South of Africa, then there’d be a problem. So again, technology deprived me learning places and I’m not even mad.

4) Phone numbers, birthdays, things to do. Holy lord, responsibilities.
If you check my phone right now under a folder called Life, here are the things you’d find. Reminders for the day, week and the month. (I keep them all updated. Haphazardly and that is why I don’t get things done), birthdays (I have birthdays of probably 17 people registered but wish only 8 because the other 9 never wished me), phone numbers (I can’t…..I can’t even elaborate on this. Not even going to try to because I’m bad at remembering phone numbers. Period) and lastly, notes. And what, you ask, do I need notes for? To write about all the songs I heard but couldn’t download immediately. To write the names of people because I’m stupid and I can’t remember stuff. To write the ONE thing I was supposed to get from the store. If it wasn’t for these, I’d have no life and negative friends. Not zero but negative. (Which is why I’m glad for the three friends I do have)

So there. Technology saved my butt a ton of times which makes it all the more reliable. Which is bad because hello? you’ve got a brain for a reason and you’re the most highly evolved animal but you can’t remember stuff for shiz but can come up with stuff that’ll keep downing your brain performance. Funny people, humans are. But, no one’s complaining because I, for one, couldn’t imagine life without technology. So, NOPE to early-man kind of living without technology. I’ll pass, thank you very much!

Anyhoo, until our time meets again,
A

(Feel free to leave a comment down below. Don’t be shy. Do it. Go ahead. DO IT. I dare you. I DOUBLE DARE YOU. DO IT. JK.- No, I’m not.)

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11 Replies to “WAYS TO BE USELESS 101”

  1. For some reason I am unable to write comments on your most recent posts. I just wanted to say that it was really inspirational and I am sorry for your loss because I know how it feels to lose something you’ve spent lots of time working on. I mean I genuinely get quite depressed about forgetting to save a page’s worth of work on Word…
    Anyway, good luck with your renewed passion for writing and I hope it goes well!
    ~Harvey

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have no idea what’s happening to the commenting thing. I don’t know how to fix it either. But, thank you so much! Yeah I had to start over initially because the saving part was what I forgot all the time. Still happens and exasperates me. Thank you again

      Liked by 1 person

  2. AAH you are so amazing you have me LOLing (and i am actually LOLing, not just typing LOL with as much emotion as brick wall)….i love your writing so much and you are hitting upon so many points like the dangers of a friend who likes to shop, for example. (who may or may not be moi – i’ll confess to spending $80 at teavana and dragging my friend with me, so yes probably moi) but hey….retail therapy #amiright I want to comment on and like all your posts, but i think that might be like borderline stalkerish, and i already promised you that i am not creepy. so :/ you are amazing. i’ll leave it at that 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bwahahaha! And I’m sitting here thinking I shouldn’t just start commenting on all of her posts no matter how desperately i want to.What if she thinks I’m cuckoo? Oh my God! You are me and I am you in more ways than one. :’D (still not being creepy, I swear. :’D)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sending you an email now because i saw a comment somewhere, but i lost it, about rainbows and unicorn dust? and well i am all about the stardust and bear hugs. So. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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