SNAPPERS YOU SHOULDN’T BE.

I’ve been away for a while so I’m still a little off my game. I’ll be back with better stuff in some time.

Today’s motivation: SnapChat. I’m just like any other teenager, okay? So, my phone is a dump yard with all social apps (because honestly, I’m much better off communicating from behind a screen as opposed to real-time chatting. I’m not a serial killer, I swear.) I’m not an app hoarder and don’t download games and all that shiz because I want my phone running smooth without apps getting in the work way of the others. And I like my battery intact at least for a good three hours, thank you very much. So the only kinds of apps I have are the very few utterly famous ones that every person seems to have now. (I’m having language issues today. Apologies.)

Getting back to the topic at hand, SnapChat has been one such app. I’ve been on this platform for under a year (I’d say 10 months now) and still haven’t figured out the works of it (YAY!) but I’m better than most of my friends and I take pride in it nevertheless. So, since I was on SnapChat relatively before any of my other friends were, I had the opportunity to watch them ‘grow’. So, these are the types of people I’ve seen on SnapChat.

Leggo.( I can’t do anything about the leggo. I’m too attached to let it gooooo -that’s a Frozen reference BTW. Look over it if you hate it.)

  • The silent snappers.

I got to admit, I was one of these people when I first started off. It was terrible because I hardly followed anyone and I’d have just three stories on my list and I’d just watch them over and over again (yep, I have a zero social life situation). But, ever since I got the hang of it, I’ve been hating people who just watch my story but don’t have any of their own. I mean I’m still going to complain everyone’s story is booooring but it’s nice to see you at least have something going on. If you never snap, the first thing I think is you’re a serial killer who lives in a box and watches everyone’s snap story and then laughs demonically. You is just creepy to me, honestly.

 

  • The one second snapper.

(Guilty.)These type of snappers are the ones whose story is 5 seconds long with 5 pictures. And the captions are a mile long. So you got only one second to read ‘Such a good day at Czechoslovakia.’ By the time I’m done with ‘such’, the picture is gone. I personally hate this. I’m a person who likes to take time judging people. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THAT IN A SECOND? So I’m going to have to keep assaulting my screen for a good 30 seconds to watch your story over and over again. I hope you’re happy that my screen spazzed out after that.

 

  • The Leonardo Da Vinci snapper.

This person will literally draw and doodle things on any picture and it’s not even ‘art’. It doesn’t have to make sense. Even if there are four people with exceptionally well done makeup, guess who’s without a green mustache and a purple toupee? NO ONE. There are stars all over the bottom. Frogs in the sky. Glasses on someone’s mouth and a random zzzz written across someone’s chest. Or my favorite one is people who snap random people and draw bikinis and drawers on top of their clothes. These are the ones I love. (Only if the bikini top isn’t on the shoulder blades. And the drawers aren’t on the stomach. If so, then you need some classes, bro.)

 

  • The serial screengrabber.

I can’t even….. this person probably has my entire puberty process in their screenshot folder (Jk.)But, without a shadow of a doubt I can tell you that their screenshot folder thingy is so much more full than their actual camera roll. (This is why I have trust issues.) When I put a timer on my snaps and when I only keep it for three seconds, I WANT YOU TO RESPECT THOSE THREE SECONDS. You can ogle only for those three seconds and in case you couldn’t, life’s unfair, sister/brother. Get over it. Even though I amn’t doing anything wrong, the moment I know you’ve taken a screenshot, I feel like you have the evidence for the crime I never committed. Straight up creepy.

 

  • The filter freak.

Do I even have to? Snapchat comes up with new filters every single day (the horror is real) so every single day there is this one person who uses all the 12/13 filters. And it’s usually the damn puppy face. If the filter worked perfectly fine every time, then I’d stand it for a while but it’s usually people who keep raising their eyebrows and opening their mouths like idiots and nothing even happens. So after that they just straight up move their face muscles in ways I didn’t know the human face could be moved. (This is the reason why I have a weird face. Not that I was actually born a beaver. :’D)

 

And then there’s me as a snapper. Let’s not go there. So, I hope you guys liked it. If you didn’t, you know what people say, I didn’t wake up to please you. (See? I told you I’m a very sweet person really!) Okay that’s probably not what everyone says. But let’s just go with it.

 

Until our time meets again,

 

A

 

If you don’t have SnapChat, DO IT! DOWNLOAD IT! USE IT! Maybe you can turn into Picasso with all the doodling. You can thank me later then. Cheers.

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Published by: YOUR AVERAGE PEAHEAD.

'Girl don't need no coffee or alcohol to get pumped..' That was typically basic of me but Hey, there. You've made it to the weird side of the internet. I wish I was as pleasing as I think I am. If you're into poorly crafted jokes and random almost zero sense making one liners that pop up between my feeble attempts at trying to be funny more often than not, you should stick around. If you know me in person, I'm not the same awkward and mildly anxious doof that I am in real life. I'd like to think I'm a talking dance party on here. Please let me live in my head. Thank you and I hope to see more of you.