Here’s to A*n*.
If I kept poisoning my mind
Into thinking I was alright and fine
I’d be doing more damage to myself
Than what meaningless, well thought of words do.
I’m giving up everynight, before the memories flood
Every night, before the words speak for themselves again
Every night, before pictures of happy become pure again
Every night before magic happens again, I’m preparing myself to forget.
Problem is, I still believe in a forever
I still believe in everything I see in the happiest pictures
I still believe I’m part of something precious.
Given no definitive proof of meaning
I hang on till twines of glitter turn to feeble strands of burning fabric
Letting go, I believe, is harder than being let off
But, if you hear what my mind screams and see tearless sadness,
Comfort me and tell me this is what it takes to have everything I’d ever want
Convince me that the pain every night before bed is only a routine of life
Confide in me that your orange scented dreams arent a always, as well
Feed my soul with answers to why I need to doubt myself just like everyone else.
Lastly, make the memories of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow
Last a little longer.
Until our time meets again,
I’m definitely not nailing poetry. Ugh.