How massive of a turn did the almost diminishing (Mostly completely gone.) Twilight fan girl in me just take? It’s been a hot second since I remember losing my shit over the books. The little unusual, completely impossible in actual times romance that built between a vampire and a human completely pushed me off the edge. Since I live in my head mostly (LITERALLY ALL THE TIME.) fangirling over the one other thing besides Harry Potter that seemed so much saner than shifting stairs and talking portraits and grand dining was Twilight. Now that I’m over that phase (Something I take immense pride in because I’ve realized that although the books were in a way fascinating, the movies were a load of camel shit. Don’t fight me on this.) I can begin brooding over something fictional again, to destroy any social life I might have. 

Gotta quickly address the elephant in the room because I’ve notoriously kept up a rapport of pulling things waaaaaay more than is necessary. I never get to the point and this is me diving head first in. I’ve switched over. I’m now convinced Harry Potter was the one thing that I missed out on. It’s a tragedy but it’s never too late to fall in love with books. 

Last week, very presumptuous of me, I took a major swipe at Hermione thinking it was okay because my ‘loyalties don’t lie’ with the series. (A minor one. I like to dramatise.) And a week from then, I’ve found everything I’ve been looking for in the same exact fandom that I previously trashed. 

I read a post when Alan Rickman died about how his character turned out to be everything everyone believed he was not. Ever since then, the dark and sinister cuckoo looking Master of Potions that had stuck somewhere in my head since the first time I saw him and decided this series wasn’t my cup of tea, has turned over to someone I wish had never died. And that’s a lot coming from a person who never liked, let me rephrase that, DETESTED the super confusing storyline. 

I might’ve warmed up to the idea of picking up the first book way back when I read that but never got to the actual task of finding the book. If it presented itself in front of me, I’d maybe give it a look, I thought slyly putting it off because who in their right mind would even expect a book to present itself? (Me, duh!) Anyway, fast forward from then to a few days back when Chamber Of Secrets played on TV. I could’ve watched a billion other things on TV like I usually do when having lunch because if I have nothing to concentrate on while chewing food, it never feels like a meal. (I’m not even making this up.) I decided nothing was worth watching and picked the first tolerable thing I could find. (At this point I needed to start lunch. It was a good lunch and I hated not having anything to watch to enjoy it with. But you gotta go what you gotta do.) It’s not an unusual thing but its certainly not a super common thing for me to sit with my hand covered with food that was drying around my fingers and my empty plate balanced between my thighs. I sat for what felt like half of the movie maybe before I decided I was no longer all that interested in the movie. This is the point where I remember watching the same movie years ago with my sister who is probably the biggest HP fanatic out of the rest of us. I remember the monster in the chamber and the voice and whispering and decided against the idea of sitting and watching it again. 

Fast forward to Sunday (Yesterday). While my mom oiled my hair, again I needed something to concentrate on instead of my Mumma’s weekly head massage (Which usually gives me a teeny headache right after, defeating the purpose of a massage but heck, it feels good during anyways.) 

I watched the whole entire movie of Deathly Hallows part two. In one sitting without missing a whole lot which usually never happens because I walk off midway to get something and forget I was watching anything. But, I did the impossible and all for a movie based off the books I never liked. 

This is a big thing, for anyone that doesn’t get the unnecessary hype about my recent obsession. Harry Potter and Anya never go together. Or so I thought until last week. I was dragged deeper into this after reading the first book which isnt at all like I pictured it. What I thought might be confusing writing (I don’t know how I came up with that when ten year olds have been reading this.) was far from incomprehendible and so much more lighter than the movies were. (You thought I’d go a whole post without criticizing something? Pity.) 

Although the movies aren’t as grand as the books were, there’s only so much you can do to try and match the crazy and the extremely detailed imagination Rowling had when she wrote it. 

I got through a whole book in eight hours, a record I’m very proud of because under the given circumstances (Those being that I can’t be thinking of finishing an entire novel in one day. What is self control?) I managed to finish My First Ever Harry Potter book. 

I’ve hopped on the Nimbus 2000 and can’t wait to fall deeper in love with something I never wanted to like. 

Also, something Dumbledore said might’ve had to do with my opening up to the idea. This lit a full haystack on fire somewhere in my mind and since stringing words together for a post is something we do on here, I figured you’d like it too, maybe? 

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.

I mean, COME ON! Who even comes up with stuff like that? (Rowling, duh!) This was probably my undoing. A certain way into the second book, I can’t wait to know everything there is to be known. 

PS: Yes, I’m so so late with reading these books but at least I started? Cut me some slack for starting somewhere, however long it took me. 

Pps: I have my birthday in exactly two months. I’ll be expecting an owl with my whole Harry Potter collectors edition books. Thenks. (Don’t say I never asked what I wanted.) 

Ppps: I printed out my very own Hogwarts letter, complete with a seal. Even though I’m just a day into this, I’m not planning on putting off the very thing everyone’s ever wanted. 

Until our time meets again,






It’s tag season y’all. (Breaks into a dance because this is so much fun.)

Quick shout out to Sheetal from THE GLITTERS OF LIFE for tagging me. If you don’t follow her, erm, why? I haven’t been her oldest follower, but the few days that I have been, I’m convinced I hit jackpot. Pop on over to her site to read her tag. (Link’s below.) Also, while you’re at it, show her some love. xD



  • Name three things you’re thankful for.
  • Tag fellow bloggers to carry this forward.
  • Create a logo of your own for the tag.


Things I’m thankful for:

  • Jesus: Yep, I said it. I’m not the most spiritual person that’s ever lived but I’m spiritual enough to believe he’s got my back. Also, SURPRISE!! I’m Christian. I’m far from ashamed to tell anyone that I’m not atheist like the trend is these days. My ass has been on the line so many times before and believing he has it under control has me going forward. So there,I’m thankful for God. Super thankful.
  • Familia: Although my parents belong to the stone age, they are some of the fanciest people I know. Scratch that. They are the fanciest people I know with the classiest taste in books. (Extra points for that.) My sister, (A right Royal pain in the ass.) is far from human and more of a hobbit of sorts but she foots my pizza bills and fuels my burger needs. You can’t not be thankful for humans like so. My Nani (Granny) is just an all round boss at everything she does.

Also fitting into familia, are the bunch of gorillas I’ve been friends with. Besides the fact that they love me, they’re more than okay with turning my space upside down in less than two blinks of an eye. Such comfort comes from family and family only.

  • Health: See, I don’t have the healthiest body and I have my flab to back me up on this but I can run a super good distance before I fall flat on my front. And if that’s not healthy, your idea of healthy is tainted, sorry. I can walk to get what I want and boy am I thankful for that. I can see people eating my food. (Thank you, Jesus.) I can hear my father’s hopeless bathroom concerts. Amongst other important things, I’m specially thankful for these. It’s the idea of being able to go about by myself that I’m really grateful for.


Bending rules has been key since day one. Here’s few pacific mentions that need to be made.

  1. I’m thankful for pizza and burgers. (Whoever made these, bless you and your family.)
  2. I’m thankful for music.
  3. I’m thankful for books. (And Enid Blyton for the bombest snack ideas.)
  4. I’m thankful for my very applaudable taste in drinks. (I take immense pride in this.)
  5. I’m thankful for YOU! Not having a place to pour the chaos in my head would’ve killed me sooner or later. So thank you for pushing Your Average Peahead all this way and getting her past 200 followers!!!! WE ACTUALLY DID IT! I hit 200 two days ago and OH MY GOD! Of course it wasn’t yesterday that I hit 100 so it’s been a long ride to get here. Thank you so much to everyone that hit that follow button. (My mind is blown that it has been hit 200 times.) If I could hand out pizzas, you know I would but that’s something I can’t pull off. (Such a travesty.) I thought about the lactose intolerant people and so you’d get cheeseless huuge juicy burgers. (Cheeseless pizzas are not a thing. Sorry.) If you’re watching your weight, I have salad for you. Nevertheless, thanks for joining in on the party.


I tag the following few people to do this if you’d like. If you haven’t been tagged, you’re still part of the family and can go ahead and do this!

Expression of a Serenity Lover

Purple Room Healing

Rake Poetry

Voice of a Thoughtful Mind

Blend of Sentiments

Glimpses of my Life

The Caged Bird Sings

Sparky Jen

I tried thinking of a logo for the tag and I ended up with something a one month old could do. I’m not even sorry because this is a kid that took up music instead of arts so give me props for atleast trying.

Until our time meets again,





It’s being all ears to everything 

That really destroys your soul 

Inch by inch, day by day

The fear of knowing everything 

The fear of not being able to tell them

She’s growing weaker, every day

She’s starting to think of ways 

Ways to end the tears that threaten to spill

The helplessness pooling in her eyes 

And through all the signs that are giving her away 

She’s trying double to stop it from showing 

Her smile is beautifully broken 

Although, its not the shards of pain you see 

Give her her happiness that she spent on resolving fights

Give her her childhood that she spent crouched in a corner

Give her her youth that she spent hating herself 

Give her herself that she gave up to be and do what they told her to

Look past my smile, her eyes plead

Look at the tear stained cheeks beneath the powder I’ve used, her skin screams

I’m not strong enough to tell you but I really need to let it out, her mind yells

Tell me everything that’s troubling you, I’ll help, her demeanor soothes

Don’t sweep your eyes over the shaking palms at her sides, its growing worse

Don’t huff at the darkening circles around her dimming eyes, she wakes up at every sound and waits for nothing 

Don’t shut your ear to the sniffling coming every night from the dark in her room, she’s muffling the agony into her pillow

Don’t fail to notice how strong and high her wall is built around her, terribly thick and beautifully carved, for the insides of her mind, it’s noiselessly killing her every passing second.

For the girl that I’ve grown watching and for the pain that’s slowly starting to seem far too cruel. You’re stronger than you think you are. You can allow yourself to be weak sometimes. Be the victim to life, sometimes. You’re okay. You’ll be okay. A day isn’t 24 hours of night, darling. A day isn’t 24 hours of night. 

Two posts in less than a day? It happened. I didn’t really think this matched the frequency and vibe (Let’s just pretend it’s an actual thing. Those are some big ass words.) I’ve been having over the past few weeks but I decided to put this up anyway because this girl means the world to me. I wanted to stop the ‘very hard to understand what you’re saying’ sort of posts but this is a blog I promised to let loose on and post myself and what made my everyday. She isn’t just another draft.

Until our time meets again,







Not a lot of people say this to you (Why?) but I’m going to give you a head’s up. DO NOT READ REVIEWS AND EXPECT YOURSELF TO HAVE SIMILAR OPINIONS. (They’re nasty people.) Beauty and the Beast has without a doubt been my single most favorite Disney stories of all time. (I realize every movie of Disney’s is my single most favorite. Just go with it.) When I heard they were filming a remake of the movie, I nearly almost lost my shit. (All of it.)

So I dug deeper and almost immediately regretted it. The first bummer was that it was not animated. (Y u do this?) Second being that Emma Watson (Yes, ‘The Harry Potter’ girl. Come at me, Hari Puttar die hards. What’s good?) was to play Belle. It felt like living no longer made much sense because although she KILLED her role as Hermoine (I think. Again, COME AT ME!), I never pictured her playing Belle. Watching the trailer kind of put hope back into me. (Or it could be the background score that really got me excited tbh.)

The reviews threw me off again. Emma has always been a staunch feminist and all power to you, girl but what I knew was coming, actually came. Her role in the movie strangely reflected what she’s like in real life. (I almost hear the Feminists coming. I mean no harm. You go, girl.) But, here’s the thing. For a person that LOVED the original animated movie, being remade into the live kind, kind of threw ice cold water on all the feels. But, I still hoped Belle would be Belle, maybe an extra charm that Watson could no doubt bring to the screen. But, here’s what really happened. I don’t remember Belle being as …….. Not so Belle. The beginning of the movie felt like a proper musical. I did pretend to doze off behind my 3-D glasses (Which FYI decided to play slip and slide on my nose. Annoying piece of nonsense.) Gaston had what felt like a 140 minute song. While all of the characters in the movie stayed in the lane of the characters that previously played in the animated film, (I feel like i can’t say this enough) Emma’s Belle reminded me of Emma. I like my characters to be themselves rather than the actors, thank you very much.

Her way of talking did somehow sound ‘I don’t give two dimes about what anyone thinks’ which is quite the opposite of the Belle I remember and grew loving. (NO I’m not confused with Cinderella and Belle.) And the reviews told me exactly that. The movie was far too hyped for the performance that came through. So last night, in my head, I was prepared to bash it proper and I was bent on doing just that before the second half of the movie, which disappointingly was only filled with a gazillion songs and very very very unnecessary, hardly laughable quick wit by Lefou (Gaston’s little friend/puppety human.) The second half however, ooooooooooooh. Fancy fancy fancy. I don’t know if it was the second coffee that got me all excited or if it was the fact that they actually toned down Emma’s Emma in Belle and really stuck to the scenes of the original movie with very minor tweaks, but it really got to me. If I could wave my hands back and forth and beat my chest and run around the theatre crying tears of happiness and yelling “YASSSSS GEDDIT!”, I would’ve done it. Everything about the finale was puurrrfect. More drama and faaar less music. (See, I have a very real problem with musicals.)

I LOVED Gaston’s character. Boy oh boy did Luke Evans embody Gaston; unbearably annoying. JUSTICE WAS SERVED! With cream and strawberries on top.

My judgment (Which OBVIOUSLY matters) could be clouded by everything I read but Belle was definitely Emma. At least in the initial bits (K.I.L.L.E.D my vibe.) but props to her for gracing through the second half. (I’m going to give her that.)

Lumiere (The talking candle) was always a favorite and still remains my favorite after the movie. Chip had such little to do with anything, which is a proper tragedy.

They show a good, fair deal of the enchantress who casted the spell on the prince to begin with. The little eye contact with the camera just before she finds Belle crying over The Beast freaked the crap out of me because although she was in a few other scenes I never knew what she had to do with anything. But it’s always the silent roles that drive daggers into your heart. (Watch Agathe’s character in the movie carefully. You heard it from me first. You’re welcome.)

Was it worth two hours off of my weekend? The second bit definitely was. To wash the disappointment of the things that well, disappointed me (Duh!) I got some CHINESE! Also to celebrate another remake, I got more CHINESE! (We need excuses, we do.) With two cold coffees (Something I’ve never pulled off because Coffee was never a thing for me.) and a terrible sugar and caffeine high, I quite enjoyed the movie. (Ignoring the minor complaining.)

SPEAKING OF COMPLAINTS! I’m hoping the person that fitted those god awful new ‘innovative’ shitty ass seats in the theatre has a second to read this. FIRST OF ALL, WHAT ARE THOSE?! I had to clench all my muscles from the waist downwards to keep myself from sliding behind and having my whole entire butt hanging out the other side. Whoever thought that a lowkey glute workout while watching a goddamn movie was a funny idea, needs to be hit in the throat. (This could’ve contributed to half my frustration with little things in the movie. Just FYI.)

Until our time meets again,





It’s no secret that I Google myself more often than is necessary. I should be ashamed at how easily I’m persuaded about someone somewhere writing something about me. See, in my head that sounded like a plausible explanation but now that I’ve read it out, I could be a little less vocal. (Duely not noted.)

So while I was bouncing around for motivation (Trying to steal ideas for this week) I remembered I hadn’t googled myself in a while. (Because something’s obviously going to change. Pfft) I’ve never gone past the first page because the disappointment of finding nothing of actual interest always held on to my collar threatening to tighten around me if I didn’t stop. But today, today was different. I actually hit ‘Next page’. 


It’s not even that big a deal but since drama is trés dramatic and I’ve got a reputation to live up to, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING! Anyhoo, here’s the thing I found. 


If you read that, you’re a darlin’, that you are. But if your lazy ass didn’t want to check it out, I feel ya. Truth be told, I knew I had a blog or two or seven hundred around the internet under different names. I’ve never made an effort to remember the passwords because which fifteen year old in her right mind would do such a thing? Passwords are for the weak. This little site that my sister made for me, Jesus knows why, still bounces about the internet under my name. Is your mind blown? Mine is. (There’s no reason why yours should be, come to think of it.)

Seeing that this was four years ago and written ON MY BIRTHDAY, had my soul dramatically swoon with a hand on her head. Because, the language is firstly border line obnoxious. (Yet, that is exactly how I continue to speak. Sigh.) Secondly, I was very evidently trying to please my sister. Thirdly, I’ve realized I’ve always struggled with coming up with ideas to write which explains why my first post was a thickly veiled thank you to her for pushing me into this. (Could I kiss more ass? Methinksnot.) Fourthly, I’m low key proud of my fifteen year old self for trying out typing as opposed to writing things down on random pages. 

Lastly, I realized I’ve never written myself a letter. I’ve written a couple of people a few letters but to me, NO. It’s just about time I jump on the bandwagon and take it for a spin. (A really bumpy and cringe-y spin.)

What I’d like to tell my fifteen year old self. 

Little shit, you thought writing a book was easy. You thought! I’m not entirely sorry you realized it’s a feat your lazy ass couldn’t achieve. But, on the contrary, boy am I glad you tried the one thing you were told not to do. You’d be happy to know you did get yourself into the college you wanted. You didn’t have to use your non existential plan B. Your little group of friends simmered down to just two. They’re cool and the other two aren’t as much. You might’ve lost a bit of your streak somewhere in between for being too hawty about scoring big time. You’ve learned from that, I’ve got your back now. (Don’t jinx.) You didn’t really end up with X. But you have terrible thoughts. About his girlfriend. Yup, I want to pull her hair out and claw her eyes out and ….. You know, do the same exact thing you’d do. You might’ve sobered down a little, not too much. Your anxiety has only sky rocketed. Not that I’ve made any conscious effort to stop that. You run a blog now and successfully kept it going for a year, nothing like your previous zero effort projects. (Don’t jinx.) You still speak fluent bullshit. Also, you learnt a little bit of French. You can say yes and no, that’s about that. (Between you and me, your French slang is on point.) You haven’t stopped dancing. You’re going at it and probably even gotten better at actually learning something from the four million videos you see every day. Your humour has only gotten dirtier and hardly makes much sense but you still find yourself laughing at everything you say. You picked some really classy friends from college that still tolerate your annoying presence from time to time. (Don’t jinx.)

Now this, this is really for you. You’ve stopped the body hating on a major level. Yes, I’ve tried taking care of you. We’re not there yet but I’m trying to get you there. Your cravings aren’t as bad as they were. Your anxiety killed your appetite for a bit but I guess it’s back because you wolf down six biscuits like it’s grapes. Im trying really hard not to sound cheesy but there’s plenty of fish in the sea. They’re not around you right now but you’ll reel them in. Your late night crying for no real reason has, you’ll be pleased to hear, relatively reduced. You don’t starve yourself anymore and it’s been a hot minute since you had awful stomach aches because of skipping your damn meals. (You must’ve been really stupid, now that I realize. ) You haven’t let anyone forget you. Not the important people, at least. You’re always up in their face, making it rather difficult. (Don’t jinx.)

You’ve come a fairly okayish way, to say the least. You survived then and writing this down makes me think I’ll survive now. (Don’t jinx.) You’ve gone and done your bit and I haven’t thanked you for getting me where I am (Partly because it’s really weird since we’re the same person). Maybe not wholly thankful but to you in your year, I’m especially thankful. 

You’ve been human. More or less. (Please don’t jinx.)

Thanking you, (No, really)

Yours forever truly,

Anya Abraham
I didn’t realize it’d be as liberating and exhilarating and croissant (I’m embracing the France in me.)  as this was. If you haven’t tried to do one of these, God alone knows why, you probably should. Write to whichever part of your life you want. If you’re like me and dwell a lot in the past, this is exactly what you need. Just what you need. 

Until our time meets again,





“Go inside,” I whisper into the dark, heavy air around me. Right on cue, I felt a strong wind blow into the crook of my neck and send a shiver down my spine. I let out a sigh before turning around and shutting the glass doors to my patio.

I quickly changed into the comfiest pair of sweatpants I could find and cocooned myself into a blanket that always sat on the floor next to a basket of odd things I liked to keep. The sky slowly began changing colors to a dangerous dark purple. The fiery red of the evening sun was long gone.

“Do you want to come down and sleep with us today?” Myra asks from behind me, slowly stepping into my poorly lit up room and looking around, instinctively almost.

I shook my head and crouched deeper into my blanket. “I’ll be fine. It’s pretty outside.”

She pfft-ed before walking toward me. “It’s going to be the worst storm we’ve ever had, I heard. It’s only the calm before the storm. Literally and figuratively”, she said sitting down beside me.

Although the two of us snickered, hers was a nervous laugh. “We’re not going to get knocked down, M”, I replied placing my warm hand over her stone cold ones. “Don’t be a sissy.”

“Can I sleep here?”

I roll my eyes and look back out the window again. “No.”

She sighed and prepared to leave but I held her back down. “Not as yet you can’t sleep. Watch the damage with me”, I said throwing another blanket at her.

She pulled the blanket around her petite body and inched closer to me. I shot her a look before she completely pressed into me. “Okay.”

“You’re in my space”, I warned.

“It’s cold.”

“Move, Myra. You’re breathing into my neck. And so loudly. You’re killing my vibe here.”

She sighed again, dramatically this time before moving ever so slightly away from me. I gave up any attempt to reason with her and clutched my knees close to my chest, rocking back and forth.

“What do you like about this?” she asked, mimicking what I was doing but looking at me all the while.

I shrugged before getting up. “I don’t know. Lightning is scary –Mind if I open this for a bit?” I asked, with my hand on the handle of my patio door. She shook her vigorously but I opened them anyway. “You’ll get used to it. It’s fun watching it this way.”

“The wind is too hard. It’ll knock things over.”

“I’ve cleared them away. Now we can watch better, see it so much better.”

Before I turned around to go sit back down, a dazzling light lit the whole entire sky before it fell dark again. My jaw slackened and my eyes searched for whatever I could find. “DID YOU SEE THAT?” I breathed, fearing if I spoke too loud I’d disturb the peace that followed the fire.

“Uh-huh” I heard Myra’s weak voice, muffled by the blanket she held in front of her mouth. “That was cool.”

“IKNOW! Now listen for thunder. It’s not as great, though”. I spoke too soon for a thunder followed immediately after I had finished speaking. The sound was deafening and I staggered back into my room, my legs feeling like strings of spaghetti. “Jesus Christ! I didn’t think it’d be that loud.”

“That was nasty”, Myra screamed at me, eye wide and frustrated.

I frowned at her. “I can’t help it. I’m not the one playing with the settings here. Just watch out next time.”

Looking back into the sky, I rocked back and forth on my behind, fingers entangled into each other in front of my knees. Myra breathed loudly beside me again. “So”, she said, “What do you like about watching this?”

“Fear. Doesn’t it fascinate you how something as deathly frightening as a lightening is can also look so majestic when it rips through the sky, leaving no mark that it was there but you know better? You can watch it destroy everything in it’s way and still not be affected from where we are. Cool, huh?” I asked, looking right at Myra, catching her confusion.

“So you like watching things burn?”

“You needn’t put it that way”, I rolled my eyes. “I like watching things that are powerful enough to not want as much show time but it’s all everyone wants to see. It’s just cool to look at”, I sighed.

Just as I had finished, another terrifying flame lit the sky, awakening everything that hid behind the blackness. “Don’t you like it?”

“I’ve never watched a thunderstorm before. I’m much of a coward to do it all by myself. I think I like it now. It looks terribly beautiful.” An ear shattering thunder sounded somewhere far away and the two of us held our ears in response. “Gosh I’ll never get used to this.”

I laughed once the sound died down. “Oh believe me, you won’t. It’ll catch you EVERY TIME. You can never see it coming.”

Her head suddenly snapped up and she turned to look at me. “Is that what thrills you?” she asked seriously, her brown eyes wide. “You’re not as shaken because this is your routine, isn’t it?”

“What are you on about?”

“This. You know it’s going to happen, just like everyone else, but you’ve watched far too many storms to not find this as scary as it really is.”

“I have. I’m still scared, though, if that’s what you’re trying to tell me”, I frowned.

She shakes her head. “You might be but you don’t fear like the rest of us do. You see it coming, you want it to come back even though you fear it because you’re comfortbale with the fear. It doesn’t shake you like it would if you weren’t really used to it. You see something in it that none of us do.”

“I do?” I was starting to lose Myra now. “What do I see?”

“You”, she breathed. “It’s you that you’re acquainted with. You don’t find the thunder as fascinating as you find lightning. It can’t just be the fact that it’s pretty to look at. You find the calm destruction fascinating not the science itself.”

I gulp. Even with the blanket wrapped around me, I felt my hair rising against my skin. I shook my head feebly, attempting to not relate with everything Myra said. “That’s not it, M.”

“You wouldn’t sit with the doors open, on the worst storm night and still say you’re not used to it if it wasn’t for the fact, you’ve welcomed the fear. You’re used to it”, she says before holding her hands against her ears while I just flinch at another loud thunder that roared. “Gotcha!”

I can only smile at her before looking back at the sky, a thousand things running through every cell of mine, waiting for the next strike. Waiting for the next strike.


Until our time meets again,



Instagram: Anya Abraham


Between not writing at all and writing about my recent fan girling bout, I thought ‘YOU KNOW WHAT?! Screw it! I’m going to embrace this. Something for the books.” I recently stumbled on this boy group from Australia called *drum rolls* ‘5 seconds of summer’ (Yep, I’ve lived under a rock all this while.) But in my defense, I’m still a teenager so I rightfully fit the ‘Typical teenage fangirl’ stereotype I am so against. But, I’m not even close to being bothered about fighting that because in other important news, WE GOT THEM BOYS!! Getting introduced to them is in itself a story I cannot say because A) I suck at story telling. B) My method of discovery is embarrassing. (WE ARE NOT GOING THERE, WE ARE NOT!) C) Moving on. I’m not the organic fan girl, let me add. I don’t have posters of them, nor do I cry that I can never meet them, nor do I have jiggly feelings in my tummy when I see them laugh or bite their lip…….. OKAY! I AM ALL OF THEM, ALRIGHT? JESUS.

Here’s a journey of a fangirl who after a hiatus of almost seven years before which was just another crazy person who lived for Twilight, is back again at square one, going through it all over again. (HahahahaahIHAVENOLIFEhahahahahaah)


  • Finding the group. Picking your favorite person. (Aka ‘Whose lane you on, Bih?)

‘He always bites his lip and plays with the ring on it,’ NEED I SAY MORE? There were descriptions of the boys and above the whole little write-up, a big poster of four average (Not so average after a bit) looking boys with their hands over each other. I searched for the one that had the lip ring and there he was, biting down hard on the right side of his lip. I hadn’t been dragged into my personal hell just yet. (Just yet) I googled the guy Luke Hemmings (Yep, the lip ring guy.) and after reading he was 6’4” (*heavy breathing*) and the tallest in the group and WAIT! WAIT! ……….. THE YOUNGEST, your girl fell head first. Yas I find you très impressionnant!!!!!!!


  • Seven hundred hours of intensive research.

After you find the guy, which is the easiest of all the steps, you drown yourself in major researching. (The fastness in finding things shocks YOU. I swear stalking is like inbuilt or something in girls.) You don’t rest until you find everything about him from his highschool teacher to what year his great grandparents got married. You need to know EVERYTHING about the guy. And while you’re at it, you jump on YouTube and watch every possible interviews he’s in. The funny moments he has. (Because sense of humor is key.) All his laugh compilations (Because you’re a creep that likes looking at this unicorn laugh.) and every possible thing you can find about him on the internet. (Because….. well, because you’re crazy.) And THAT, folks, is where you’ve really gone and done it. There is no backing out now. You’ve found your man.


  • Wallpapers and posters and social media following.

Once you’re sure there is nothing more that you can possibly learn about him, it takes you less than 3 seconds to go on all his social medias, like the crap out of every post, take screenshots of the best pictures he has (Meaning: screenshotting every single picture of his because he is perfection.) Just to get you addicted a tad bit more to your phones, you go and set his sweaty, red faced from playing songs over and over again on tour, as your wallpaper. Note, when you finally set your wallpaper and print out a couple of pictures for your journal, you’ve officially made it into the Fangirl Community. (Welcome to the world of ‘It’s never going to happen’. Clap for yourself pls.) The wallpaper was the last time you could ever even think of having second thoughts. Lemme break it down: you’re in too deep.


  • Bookmarking every social media of his and constantly being on one of his pages.

It is of dire necessity that you know exactly what he’s doing at all times of the day, just so you know he’s a real human and not something out of your imagination. Every tweet of his, you jump at the notification. Every picture he posts has you first checking where he is, who he’s with and what he’s doing there. The speed at which you like the picture wholly depends on whether he’s with a girl or not. A group of girls isn’t as treacherous as being around a single girl is. God forbid you saw a fresh new video of his thanks to Instagram’s not so new (And not so original) stories update. If he posts a video of him working out, all sweaty and hot, it’s a possibility you’ve just shit your pants.




  • Letting the entire world know you’ve jumped off the tangent.

You send countless pictures of him to LITERALLY everyone you know, just so they know you have impeccable taste because your celeb crush is a walking perfection (Halloo, duh?) You share videos of him doing silly things just to let them know he’s one of the goofiest little munchkin and yours is a match made in heaven because you yourself can’t walk two feet without falling on your butt. Then you send random little facts because ……… GENERAL KNOWLEDGE, PEOPLE. A little extra information never killed anyone.



Most importantly, you’ve turned into a HAM sandwich (Aka a hot ass mess). Congratulations, you’re royally screwed from here on forward. You’ll be having slight breathing problems when you look at anything with his face on it, nothing too major. You’ll survive. But for the most part, please make yourself at home with your embarrassing imagination of the two of you together and hope to God you don’t talk in your sleep because ……….. Yeah!


I hope you guys have a great day!! xD


Until our time meets again,


(Sorry, but I’m bringing back ‘A’ again. It just creates a false mysterious illusion, ya know?  Sorry, it just has to happen. I like drama.)



Instagram: Anya Abraham